Throwback to September 27 2014

The days were longer
The sky was blue
The sun was warmer
The beer cold too

We did a race
And even won!
You can see us on the podium

Rounding the corner to start Lap 2

Ditto for Sandi

Finished!

Stopping the watch right away: the sign of a true pro

Yes?

Oh? Me? 2nd place overall?

Top 3 ladies with lederhosen guys

Podium

You're all winners in my eyes and all that

Now go eat those cookies and let someone else win next time!

Chaos ensues

Top people

And a close-up

Special prize for running in a Dirndl

So you won this race too?

Champions

Mr. Rhineheart

Mr. Rhineheart: "You have a problem with authority Mr. Pemulis. You believe that you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously you are mistaken."

Pemulis: "Did you watch The Matrix last night?"

MR: "Are you questioning my authority?"

P: "No, it's just that what you just said, just there, I think it sounds just like that scene at the start of The Matrix after Neo shows up late to work because he followed the White Rabbit tattoo on that girl's shoulder that showed up at his door with the guy who he was selling that digital tape containing what I guess we're supposed to presume is stolen secrets or something that he illegally obtained through his hacking skills to because his computer woke him up by typing 'wake up Neo' and then told him fairly cryptically to 'follow the white rabbit' and then he ended up at this club and he meets Trinity who hacked the IRS d-base who he had initially thought would have been a guy (most guys do, but I don't think I necessarily would have even given the fact that the technology world is such a sadly and utterly male-dominated industry that statistically speaking Trinity almost had to have been a guy but then Trinity doesn't really sound all that guy-like in my opinion as a Hacker name but whatever) and so he was up late meeting with her so she could tell him that the Matrix is real but she could just as easily have told him that through the computer when they told him to follow the white rabbit but oh well, and so I think we're supposed to be led to believe that that's why he was late to work that morning and anyways the speech that his boss gives him sounds exactly like the speech that you seem to be giving me now, is all."

MR: "So in other words you are questioning my authority."

P: "Not at all! I don't believe that anywhere in my previous soliloquy that I came anywhere near even inferring that your authority is not 100% legitimate and utterly un-requiring of questioning. All I was saying was that I was just like explaining to you why I was curious to know if you had watched The Matrix last night or not which I assumed you were indirectly asking me by suggesting that I might be questioning your authority. You see, I was basically just trying to give a full explanation for why I would have asked the question I had asked that led you to erroneously believe that I might have been questioning your unwavering, in my view, authority. If I hadn't fully explained where I was coming from you might have thought that I was, I dunno, being facetious by ignoring the fact that you were trying to have a serious conversation with me about you thinking that I have a problem with authority -- which I don't believe that I do, by the way, just for the record."

MR: "I don't take kindly to being talked back to Mr. Pemulis. This company is one of the top blogging companies in the world because every single employee understands that they are part of a whole. Thus if an employee has a problem, the company has a problem. The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Pemulis. Either you choose to be at your desk, on time, from this day forward -- or you choose to find yourself another job. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

P: "Ok, you're messing with me, I get it."

MR: "Excuse me?"

P: "That whole thing you just said there is basically word-for-word from that same scene in The Matrix. You also didn't answer my question on whether or not you'd watched the movie last night. I mean, if you are being serious, then that is a crazy example of subconscious memory asserting itself right there."

MR: "DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?"

P: "Well I hate to have to say this because from your previous comportment in this here conversation I don't think that you're going to like my answer all that much, but no, you are being anything but clear. First, I don't even have a desk and I don't have normal hours such that saying that I need to be there 'on time' doesn't have a whole lot of meaning. I e-mail you my blog posts, you and Mr. Smith do some editing, and sometimes send back some comments, and then we post them. In fact, since you two are kind of the bosses, that whole thing about "an employee having a problem and then the company having a problem etc etc" doesn't make any sense at all because in effect I'm the only employee here. And, no disrespect meant at all because I do believe that we're all in this together, but we are clearly nowhere even close to being one of the top blogging companies in the world. I think our page rank is too small to even be calculated. We post maybe 40 articles a year and in our entire history we've had 5,000 views of which probably more than half are me, you two guys, and my parents."

MR: "And that's exactly the problem that I'm trying to address in this meeting here this morning. You've submitted only a single post this entire year so far and here we are on the 21st of January. At this rate, you're on pace for an 18-post 2015 season. That's less than half the number of posts that we churned out last year! And let me just say that the 5 paragraphs you submitted last week didn't exactly set the world on fire; I'm not only concerned about quantity (though that is my primary concern), but quality matters around here too. You know how saturated the market is on that topic? Did you even have anything novel to say? How can we expect to keep our audience happy and clicking and reading away with recycled drivel like that?"

P: "Well I'm sorry Mr. Rhineheart but I've been really busy. I feel like I don't have time to even relax at all at the end of the day when I get home."

MR: "How could that be? You only work 40 hours a week, correct?"

P: "Well yes, around there. But I get home, I try to get a run or something like that in, that takes an hour, then we both have to shower, and Joelle takes about 45 minutes on a really good day. During that time I'm doing some stretches or cleaning up a bit or getting some things ready for dinner. Then I shower, then we make dinner and eat dinner which takes another hour at least. Note also that working eight hours actually takes about 10 because you've got an hour for lunch in there plus you need to get there and back home. Then we have to clean up, do the dishes or whatever, and all of a sudden it's 10:30pm or later. I might have 30 minutes to collect some thoughts but then I need to get ready for bed, brush my teeth, have Joelle ask me 'are you coming to bed?', and then the day is over. It's a nightmare."

MR: "Well millions upon millions of people manage to do it everyday. Maybe you're not being efficient enough?"

P: "Well, that is possible. Today I left work at 10 past 5 so that I could make it home by 5:30. Then I had a snack, put on my running clothes, and had to take the tram and then the U-bahn up to the Olympic Park area for the MRRC hour-threshold run practice. I got there around 6:35 and then had a couple minutes to lock away my keys and what-not, and then we started the warm-up. The run ended around 8:15 and then I was home just before 9. Joelle showered, I made a salad, I showered, she warmed up the pizza from yesterday, and then we ate, and now, with a couple minutes before bed-time, here I am explaining myself to you!"

MR: "Do you think that it makes sense to spend what seems to me like 3.5 hours for what ends up being 60 minutes of running?"

P: "Well, not really. But for some reason all these clubs want to meet in the North or at least more West in the city and here we are down in the South-East."

MR: "You couldn't go for a run by yourself?"

P: "Yes, but we've gotta meet some people, improve our German, be motivated by the group atmosphere, all that, you know?"

MR: "No. If you're complaining about not having enough time don't you think that meeting more people will have the effect of you ending up with even less time? And why do you need to improve your German? You can get by just fine without it."

P: "If you say so."

MR: "But that's beside the point! You say you have no time, but you managed to deliver nearly 40 posts last year; there's got to be something else."

P: "Well I don't really have any ideas anymore. Things were easy back in 2012. Everything was new, everything was different, and it was France. I could write 2,000 words on my first day at work or a quick 1,500-word essay on French cuisine without batting an eye. I could talk about all these great new holidays that I wasn't used to having. There were amazing places so close by and so easy to get to that we could so easily visit and then write about and post pictures from. If I was lacking inspiration a quick look out my window at the towering Alps could get a post kick-started just like that. I had time to read and could discuss the ideas that stood out to me in some great literature. The weather was beautiful so I could go cycling, write about that, or just brag with some pictures from the weather forecast. Our lives were more interesting then. We were preparing for Ironman Sweden and if I didn't have anything to say I could give an update on our training. Things were happening, life was exciting! At first it was like 'hey! I'm in Europe!' and now it's kind of just, hey! I have to go to work and live a normal going-to-work life like everybody else."

MR: "Are you sure you're not just glorifying the past through some kind of revisionist history?"

P: "Hey it's all there on the Blog Mr. Rhineheart. Now there's nothing. It's just: go to work, try to fix things that are broken, break more things, lose more hair, try to stop from getting too fat, get enough sleep so that you're not a zombie. Plus it's the winter right now."

MR: "What does that have to do with anything?"

P: "Well it gets dark at about 5pm. Sure there may be the same number of hours in the day, but it just feels like the day's over so much more quickly. Also it's cold out. Running is miserable, you can't go cycling, and sitting by the river is only for the geese right now."

MR: "What about skiing?"

P: "You're not the first person to suggest it. But then I'd need to buy all the stuff, get someone to drive out there, spend a whole bunch of money, and most importantly be out in the cold all day. Plus I'd miss Saturday swim practice."

MS: "Sorry I'm late."

MR: "No problem Smith."

P: "Wait! This is really confusing. How can Mr. Smith be late for a meeting that doesn't technically even exist? And if he is indeed late, why aren't you giving him the whole Matrix talk you were giving me?"

MS: "I think he might be questioning your authority, Rhiney."

P: "You call him Rhiney?"

MR: "Please don't call me that in front of the employees Smith."

P: "Remember how I just mentioned a few minutes ago that there is only one employee here?"

MS: "Sorry Mr. Rhineheart."

MR: ...

MS: "So where were you two? What did you think of the ads idea Mr. Pemulis?"

P: "What ads idea?"

MS: ???

MR: "I hadn't got to that yet Smith. But thanks for reminding me. So, Mr. Pemulis, we've been in discussions with some people at Vox Media who want to invest in Grenoble WMD. It would allow us to provide more value to our shareholders but would also require you to increase your production rate. The investors are getting nervous, and frankly quite disappointed, with a running 18-per rate so far this year. That's why this discussion is so important."

P: "But what was that about ads?"

MR: "Well the deal is contingent on the site being literally just covered in ads. In fact it will help you because there won't even be that much room left over for text."

P: "Umm....."

MR: "But don't concern yourself with that right now. We'll start doing things like stretching posts across many days, presenting content in parts, 'to be continued' and all that. It doesn't change the fact, however, that we still need some novel stories from you and lately we're just not getting much, if any, of it."

P: "So what do you suggest?"

MR: "I suggest that you get working Mr. Pemulis! What about a story on your Canadian Christmas Vacation? Those have proven to be quite popular in the last several years."

P: "Well I didn't really do much."

MR: "I'm sure you did something noteworthy. You're a smart guy, you can play it up a bit, I'm sure of it."

P: "Nah, really, there's nothing."

MR: "Ok, humor me. Tell me what you did and we'll see if we can brainstorm some story ideas."

P: "Ok. Let's see... Arrived. Was tired. Slept. Drove. Ate. Drank. Slept. Drove. Ate. Drank. Watched TV. Slept. Went to the store. Ate and Drank and Slept. Ate..."

MR: "You're not even trying."

P: "What do you mean? That's really what I did. And besides you didn't even let me finish."

MR: "Forget it. Do you think you'll ever do an Ironman again?"

P: "Why?"

MR: "Maybe it would give you something to write about."

P: "Well it would be nice. In fact there's even a new Ironman France they added this year in addition to the traditional one in Nice. There will be the first inaugural Ironman Vichy at the end of August. It looks amazing because, well, for one, it's in France, and it's right near where we did the Roanne Aquathlon all those blog posts ago. Ya it would be really cool. But we just don't have time for that sort of thing nowadays. I hardly have time to go for a jog, as I said before."

MR: "What about kids?"

P: ...

MR: "A trip to Thailand?"

P: "Would these Vox people fund it?"

MR: "No."

P: "What is Mr. Smith doing?"

MR: "Smith, don't do that in here please."

MS: "Sorry boss."

P: "What were we just discussing?"

MR: "Ideas, topics, avenues for exploration and in-depth thought. Hey I loved that thing on the Grenoble Brûleurs de Loups that you did where the demon wolves like murdered you and your wife or something!"

P: "Umm.... that was inspired by a true story."

MR: "Even better! Why aren't more interesting things like that happening in your life lately?"

MS: "We have ways of arranging such things, Rhin--, I mean, boss, err, Mr. Rhineheart."

MR: "Shut up Smith."

MS: "Sorry Mr. Rhineheart."

MR: "Pemulis, let me get to the point: when can we expect your next post?"

P: "Well I suppose you can expect it as soon as this conversation ends."

MR: "You don't think there will be any kind of epilogue or follow-up or anything along those lines?"

P: "Hey I just realized something! At the end of that scene in The Matrix, when Neo's boss asks Neo if he's made himself perfectly clear, Neo answers 'yes, Mr. Rhineheart'. Isn't it kind of a crazy coincidence that your name happens to match his and that you were repeating all that stuff from that scene in the movie?"

J: "Pemulis! Time for bed!"

Qui est Charlie?

In case you've been living under a rock or say in a Montana cabin in the woods or one of the other few places left out there without access to Internet or TV or radio, around lunchtime on the 7th of January, two brothers named Cherif and Said Kouachi, armed with assault rifles, masked, and dressed all in black, entered the offices of the French satirical magazine Charlie Hebdo and murdered 12 people of which included 8 journalists, a visitor to the magazine, a building caretaker, and two police officers.

According to the BBC and other news sources, and what seems kind of obvious anyways given things that have happened in the past with, for example, that whole thing with the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten after they published a series of cartoons that depicted Muhammad, the attack was some kind of retribution for Charlie Hebdo's publishing satirical cartoons that depicted the prophet Muhammad. Witnesses claim they heard the shooters yell "We have avenged the Prophet Muhammad" after carrying out the attack.

In the wake of this attack, the slogan "Je suis Charlie" echoed across the Internet through social media as people declared their support for and belief in freedom of speech. Others argued that, while they clearly don't condone the attack in any way, shape, or form, Charlie Hebdo was stupid to do something just to antagonize people, and weren't they kind of playing with fire so to speak in publishing something that they knew would be frowned upon by millions, and isn't Charlie Hebdo kind of racist for printing what they print? [the answers are "maybe" and "no"].

Pemulis believes in freedom of expression not only because it's a philosophically defensible right, but especially because if he doesn't then he's pretty much just saying that he supports terrorism and saying that is illegal, or at least it should be. Nobody supports terrorism (come on!), and everyone believes in freedom of speech, so because, for example, Algerian foreign minister Ramtane Lamamra couldn't show his support strongly enough in Algeria (where public protests are banned), he had to travel all the way to Paris to participate in the 4 million-strong march for freedom of expression. This is a man who believes in freedom of speech!

And because Pemulis believes so strongly in freedom of speech, he was right there (in spirit) with Ramtane and Angela and François and all the other nearly 4 million in Paris the other day to show that we will not be intimidated and that we forcefully believe in freedom and the freedom to say what we will. He couldn't make it though because there was another protest at the same time that he had already committed to. Apparently Norman Finkelstein was going to give a talk about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict here in Munich. But everyone knows that guy's an anti-semite. Free speech should only be protected if it's true and he's just going to take the Palestinian side. He'll incite a bunch of hatred and we need to prevent that. Right?