Saturday, August 15, 2015

Life in the Tropics

August 15, 1944; seventy-one years ago today Operation Dragoon -- the Allied invasion of Southern France -- saw a joint force of Americans, French, British, and Canadians land all along the Côte d'Azur from Le Lavandou, through Cavalaire-sur-Mer, and St. Tropez, all the way to Saint-Raphaël and beyond, and ultimately cause the Germany Army to abandon Southern France. It may not be plausible, but let's say that the reason it took me this long to write about our June trip to Nice/Antibes and Ironman France is that I was waiting for a day as meaningful as today for without this brave landing there may not have been an Ironman France to visit. If it were today Stephen Harper would most likely try to put Canada on the other side but I digress...

Nice and Antibes seemed hot. It was late June and the mercury was rising well into the 28's and 29's*. In a welcome as fitting as it was frustrating, our Thursday evening arrival coincided with the nation-wide taxi strike and demonstration against Uber Pop, the private Internet-backed taxi service upsetting taxi rackets and syndicates worldwide. In fact, it really made me want to take a dirty expensive taxi driven by an angry old fat guy. I wanted to uninstall Uber from my phone, stop paying those low prices, wait on a corner for twenty minutes hoping that I had cash on me, but the problem was that they were on strike so I couldn't do any of that. The other problem is that it caused all of the buses to be completely full and since the taxis weren't simply not working but actively blocking traffic lanes -- which everyone loved and immediately therefore started sympathizing with the taxi drivers -- the buses weren't just overfull, they were also late or not coming at all.

*several weeks later in Timisoara and Munich we would be dreaming about a cool day way down in the high-20's



But, some good did come of all this because our friends whose house we were to stay at (context: same friends whose wedding we attended in Lyon and the mountains surrounding Grenoble last summer) then came to get us. But, since the dude just had his work car, which only has two seats, both dude and dudette came and since Sandi is frightened of motorcycles and also, for a double-wammy, is pregnant too, she rode in the two-seater and I got to go on dudette's motorcycle with her which was pretty darn awesome (additional context: dudette is actually Lithuanian Svetlana who also appears in the original Brompton folding bicycle story from approximately two years ago on GWMD).



Yup, that's me there cruising along the beaches on the Côte d'Azur. Some day Helga will look at that picture and I'll say something like "See!? You're Dad was pretty cool back in his day!" and she'll roll her eyes and say something like "Du bist so peinlich Dad!".

So Nice and Antibes were as hot as we could imagine things getting after having spent the last nearly two years living in Oberbayern where the only time you feel uncomfortably hot is when you're wearing your full-length Lederhosen and you mistakenly leave the heat on in your BMW 7-series on the hottest day in July. I can't exactly remember what we got up to on Friday and Saturday which is one good reason why I should have written about this a month ago but on the Friday we saw Thony and extended family, got some lunch together, visited their ritzy rented condo, and drank some tiny cute little French beers which reminded me of Grenoble.



Oh! I remember what we did on Saturday! We drove to Cannes to go to a beach that is supposed to be like the current "it" beach. It seemed pretty similar to most of the other beaches that we'd seen, but we were the guests and all so we just smiled and enjoyed and lay on the beach and even, after approximately seven hundred thousand minutes of Sandi getting her courage up (because there were two itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny cute little jellyfish in the water), we even, even, went for a dip. Oh and here we are selfie-ing it up in the sunshine:



And some rich people enjoying their hard-earned euros in the form of yachts followed by some fine looking people strolling along what is clearly the "it" beach promenade!



Saturday night our hosts' housemate decided to have a party. It was a beautiful hot summer's eve and the house has a great "garden" as the Europeans say but what it actually is is a backyard. Interestingly, Fernando, the housemate, knows every single person that lives in, around, and seemingly anywhere near Antibes. 


The "Garden" (the backyard)

Since Sandi and I were the official videographers of Thony's race, and these Ironman things start at 6:30 AM, we were ready to hit the old hay around 11:00 PM. Unfortunately for us, however, no one at this party was anywhere near ready for hitting any hay. They were hitting the impromptu backyard bar just below the window to our bedroom! We "went to bed" around midnight and may have fallen asleep for a few minutes when the heavy bass finally was shut off around 4:45 AM. Our alarms then promptly woke us up fifteen minutes later at 5:00 AM, we took Van's work car that he had graciously lent us ("don't worry.. if you crash it it's just my work's car"), and we began the twenty-five minute drive into downtown Nice. Upon arrival, we thought we'd found a great parking spot right by the beach, right by the start! Turns out the beach is a little longer than we thought and so we had a bit of a walk to get there. No matter.. it was a great morning to watch the sunrise.


Sandi walking from Will Darling on Vimeo.

The race itself was a lot of fun. Despite getting essentially zero sleep, and in fact one could characterize what we got as actually negative sleep because if we'd just lay in bed listening to birds sing and waves break then we'd probably feel better than if we'd had a set of 2 meter-tall speakers belting out overly-bassified hiphop just below our bedroom all night (which we had), and so let's revert that and say despite having negative sleep, we enjoyed the whole day and cheered on our buddy Thony and even filmed the whole thing. We had some beers with his parents (well, I did.. Sandi had an ice cream cone), we did some shopping for Helga, and we even got some pictures of us rocking the aero position (although it says "je suis FINISHER" we actually were not FINISHER because we didn't do the race).



Even throughout all that excitement, we -- as I said -- filmed a bunch of goings-on of the race. Editing the whole thing and turning it into a full feature-length film will take some time and it's taken me over a month just to write about the actual filming of it, so people (namely Thony) will have some time to kill before they can kick back with a bag of popcorn and watch this thing, but in the meantime, here is a trailer that you can enjoy:


Two Swedes On the Côte d’Azur from Will Darling on Vimeo.

So that's the trailer. Yes, Thony finished the race and he even got a medal. I tested the gold for purity:


And though Sandi and I had been up since 5 AM cheering everyone on and filming and all that stuff, Svetlana and Van did finally make it at the end of the day to help cheer on the final finishers:


So that's it! That was Nice. On Monday we walked around Antibes and ate some bio ("organic") lunches and (Mom will love this) bought and wrote some postcards!

Stay tuned for the Romania wedding post hopefully coming soon... Here's a preview:


Monday, August 3, 2015

I met another man who was wounded in hatred

"Will the father also be joining you for this appointment? In Bavaria in particular it's very important for the entire family to be fully involved in every step of the birth. As much as possible, that is."
"This is the father, he's right beside me."
"No, dear. I don't mean your father -- though I'm surprised that he made it all the way here from [...] was it Canada you said you were from? -- I mean the, well, it's a little bit uncomfortable to say directly, you see-"
"But you're a Doctor.."
"Correct. And that's why my opinion is so important in what concerns this matter, and I think it's more than important, well, I might venture to say of the utmost importance that the father does what he can to make it to appointments such as this one."
"Right. And that's why he's here, right beside me."
"Again, I'm sorry. Perhaps it's a translation issue as I only speak a very small amount of English-"
[???]
"-but what I'm saying is that the father of the baby-to-be -- the one in your stomach"
"Is it really in my stomach, though?"
"Well let's not get too technical. I am the doctor here. But as I was saying the father of your baby, he should be here."
"This is him. This is the father of the baby, and he is my husband."
"Him???"
"Yes. We filled out the forms in the waiting room together. His name is the same name as that on the form. We were holding hands when we walked in. He's thirty-four years ol-"
"Thirty four??? ... Surely that's a German-English translation issue. You speak some German, yes?"
"Sure, a little bit."
"Er ist vierunddreißig? Oder eher wie dreiundvierzig?"
"Thirty four. Just like me."
"Good lord. And we don't take the lord's name in vain lightly here. We're all catholics, you see."
"Yes, you explained that to me in the waiting room, for some reason."
"It's just that, well, I suppose it's not so important what I think with respect to this matter. But, sir, Pemulis, is it? Are you sure you have the energy to raise a baby? You just look so frail and lacking of energy to me, is all. And the balding, of course. Hell, I would have been less surprised if she'd said you were her grandfather!"
"Are you really a doctor?"
"Of course. Check the license plate of my car, the tag beside my doorbell, and the name I used to sign up for my last marathon. Being a doctor is very important in Bavarian, and even German, society."
"..."
"So, let's get back to business, as you Americans say. I see here you plan to name the baby Helga?"
"That's right."
"Right that Americans say that or the name?"
"Well I can't be sure about the former. I mentioned a couple of times already that we're not-"
"-That is an incredibly apt name for a Bavarian-born baby. Which saint will you use for her middle name?"
"..."
"That's fine. Some people like to keep it a surprise. Would you like a coffee?"
"Is it safe to drink coffee right now?"
"In here? We normally ask people not to smoke, but drinking coffee should be fine."
"I mean since I'm pregnant..."
"Oh right. Well that's a good point and I didn't think of it so thank you for reminding me. It's not necessarily the best thing. But you should definitely quit smoking. Have you done that?"
"I've been pregnant for more than six months now."
"So, you're just weaning yourself then?"
"No I never smoked in the first place."
"You Americans..."
"..."
"Any problems so far?"
"Yes. Remember why we came in here to see you? I seem to be growing wings. Like in that Black Swan movie..."
"Movie? In my time that was a ballet."
"Ok, but even Germans nowadays probably are more familiar with the Hollywood dark thriller starring Natalie Portman."
"You keep telling yourself that American"
"<sigh>"
"But, right, the wings. I'd better have a look. Is it OK if I ask you to take your top off? Do you want me to ask your father to leave?"
"It's my husband."
"Right..."
"No he can stay."
"..."
"..."
"I see. Yes, this is very common in Bavaria."
"What is it?"
"It appears to be a form of HWG -- human wing growth"
"Is it common?"
"Lord no! I've never come across it before. May I take a picture?"
"I thought Germans were known as being extremely concerned with privacy."
"We are. But you're American aren't you?"
"No. And didn't you just say it's very common in Bavaria?"
"We're taught to say that about anything abnormal to help put the patient at ease."
"Do you think the baby is OK?"
"I would certainly doubt it. But right now I'm more concerned with you. I've never seen anything like this before."
"You haven't seen the Black Swan?"
"I've seen the Nutcracker. Well, the first act anyways."
"What about my wing problem?"
"That should just take care of itself. But it really is cool. May I take a picture?"
"No."

Pemulis and Joelle visit the German doctor to ask about Helga's Mom's HWG problem. Unfortunately the doctor is difficult to deal with.