Wafted the strong smell of vomit, and the panicked cries of my spouse
We ran to Helga's room to see what was the deal
And when the smell hit my nose, I fell down to a kneel
After cleaning the barf from her face and her hair, Helga was sat upright in a chair
Screaming, yelling, ranting, and fighting away
She hurt Mommy's back in a frightening way
Her wet jammies, pillow, pillow case, sleep sac, sheets, two stuffed animals, and mattress cover were hung by the dehumidifier with care
In hopes that the pungent and acrid smell of her stomach contents would not soon fill the air
We nestled Helga back, all snug in her bed
But within minutes regurgitated food particles and stomach acid surrounded her head
With her back spasming through high levels of pain
I grabbed Mommy some whiskey and told her it was probably just a sprain
After consulting the web (on my phone through an app)
I started to prepare Helga for what I hoped would be a long winter's nap
I cleaned her again and tried to console
And reminded myself for the future to be more careful with birth control
Finally I dozed for a few hours or more
When suddenly I was awoken by an almighty snore!
This was far beyond your everyday clatter
I ran downstairs to see what was the matter
I looked at the counter and saw just before me
The answer to the snoring: the remnants of a party
Joelle had finished the whole bottle of booze
And when she does that, she's sure in for a snooze
But then out the window I saw Nikolaus as he flew out of sight
I could just hear him say:
"Happy Christmas to all, buy an air freshener, and to all a good-night!"
