Not many people know this but our upstairs neighbours are very famous people in Germany. Like American-style celebrities. We don't talk about it too much because it's the kind of thing where you sort of feel famous -- or at least important -- yourself by knowing that all the people in the building have this secret that we hold together and we could talk about it but generally we don't because for us it's just normal living in the same building as the German equivalent of Jean-Paul Sartre and Simone de Beauvoir circa 1960 or so.
Sometimes they have parties. And all the neighbours are invited (well, not the Karrenbauers down in unit 5 because come on). You want to show up early to soak up as much fame as possible in the little time that you're there but you don't want to seem to eager either and so it's really quite difficult to find the right balance between keeping a cool air about the whole thing and just really soaking in that feeling of famousness (even though we're totally used to it).
The parties are typically on Saturday nights and really get going around 10 o'clock in the evening. To make sure we don't seem too boring or lacking energy compared to the actors and actresses and politicians and musicians, etc. that are there, we usually sleep for about 4 hours in the afternoon before visiting one of the more upscale clothing boutiques on the Maximilianstraße, choosing some very expensive clothes for the evening, and ultimately returning them promptly on Monday morning because a belt costs 4000 Euros if you can believe it.
Despite the fact that we don't normally talk about our connection to the upper echelons of German society, I'm talking about it now because something very peculiar happened at the most recent get-together last Saturday. After arriving around 10:20 (it's important to not show up too close to the top of the hour or on a 30 because then your arrival seems too planned -- better to seem like you decided to show up just after you finished some important other social event that finished when it finished) we had been standing by the oyster bar gossiping with a young photographer and his model girlfriend about the latest concessions made by the mayor to the developers re-building the Werksviertel when all of the sudden a very, very loud BANG!!!!!!! It was so loud that the entire room jumped simultaneously and somehow (maybe it knocked the record arm right off track) the music stopped at that instant.
No one really knew what to do and the following few moments were quite awkward in that we all looked at each other with confused faces not really knowing what action should be taken next. After what must have been 2 or 3 full minutes of complete silence, Mr. Schubeck arrived in the living room very casually from his closed bedroom door. Everyone looked to him expectantly. "I've killed my wife", is what I'm sure most of us expected him to blurt out. Instead, he said "my son has arrived!". Indeed, Mr. Schuhbeck's son walked out from behind him wearing a very expensive suit (as usual) but with a quite peculiar helmet upon his head.
Young Schubeck took advantage of the silent stunned room and began an announcement. "I'm so glad you're all here tonight", he began, "so that I may present to you something that is ready to change the world truly for the better." The mood of the room finally began to thaw a bit after I'm sure not a small number of people were getting ready to call 112 on Mr. Schubeck not 3 minutes earlier. Young Schubeck continued. "I have been perfecting a personal autonomous flight system and tonight was its maiden voyage." He stepped forward and showed off what looked exactly like a flying skateboard from the Back to the Future 2 movie. As he moved forward the incredible damage in the bedroom (that neither Schubeck seemed particularly concerned about) became apparent. But the crowd was mesmerised by the small flying machine.
We don't make it to every party upstairs. But I'm especially thankful that we happened to be at this particular one. Mr. Schubeck's son then proceeded to hand out autonomous flying skateboards to all the attendees and we spent the rest of the night flying high in the sky above Munich and headed towards the alps.
It's been 5 days now since that fateful night and I've since quit my job and scarcely slept for I spend all my time flying at break-neck speed (without having to steer) on a tiny skateboard, high above the clouds.
