Anyone still out there?

If my calculations are correct, it's now been nine million, four hundred and twelve thousand, seven hundred and eleven days since the last update to this blog. It makes sense though, because there used to be things to write about (more or less) but for the last bazillion years approximately, not much has happened. Today is little Helga's first birthday which is pretty crazy, but in all those days since she was born I've only slept a total of seven minutes. That could help to partially explain any discrepancies between what's written here and reality. So, since the number of posts this year is down six thousand percent, here is a recap of the main things that have happened around here lately in the off-chance that you feel left out of the loop, as it were. Note that if it's on the list, it happened a minimum 400 times:

1. Helga cried a whole bunch
2. I got balder
3. I slept less than the night before
4. I was stressed at work
5. We spent all of our extra money on some baby product scam
6. Helga got sick
7. I bought a book but then didn't have time to read it
8. It rained
9. There was some situation that took place in German and I pretended to understand but had no clue what was going on in the hopes that it couldn't have been that important to actually understand and then much later on something bad happened that was directly related to me not understanding what happened during that original situation
10. We thought we might have a lead on a new apartment but then it didn't work out
11. We ran out of coffee beans at the worst possible time
12. Kevin broke something of ours
13. Our landlord came up with a new fee, rent increase, tax, or other mechanism by which we lost more money to him
14. I had a nightmare about clowns
15. I got a lower back injury
16. Joelle mentioned that we need to clean the house or run some errand
17. Helga narrowly missed electrocution while chewing on a cable
18. We made plans to go out with the neighbours that eventually fell through
19. My colleagues and I planned a Friday wine-tasting afternoon that was their idea and then they cancelled for some reason at the last minute (remember each of these items has happened multiple times)
20. We took Helga to the doctor

I guess that's about it for the standard stuff. Other one-time things did happen like the Munich Half-Marathon that I'll have to write a "race report" about some time (ya right) and we went to the Schliersee in the Alps for the weekend a few weeks ago which is about when I wrecked my back (ok, so that didn't happen multiple times but the pain from it has presented itself so to speak multiple times -- i.e. every day since then, so that's what I meant by its inclusion on the above list) but besides that it was a nice trip.