Last hours

Friday, 14:08 CET. Non-descript office building.

Camera pans to MAN, late-30's, shabbily dressed, a T-shirt with perhaps some kind of faded music group thereon, seated at a table with an ernest expression.

   Yes, sir.

Camera rotates at high speed to settle on FAT MAN, early-50's, even more shabbily dressed, wearing German open-toed SANDALS like an unbathed hippy in 1960's San Francisco, even ernester expression, anger swelling in his eyes, brow heavily furrowed, a single drop of sweat slowly dripping down his JOWL -- zoom to single bead slow-mo making its way down his DISGUSTING FACE.

   And if I ever see you around these parts again, I will break your <unintelligible> neck.

Camera tracks the MAN back to his DESK -- a white, modern but very cheap, slab of petroleum-wood alloy covered in haphazardly scattered papers with a keyboard, mouse, and two large computer screens. The MAN sits down and starts typing. He deletes some photos and some other personal documents. He logs into the GIBSON Q3000 MEGA DEEP M TERRAHERTZ BRAIN MAINFRAME CQ49-ER and does some other computer gibberish. He then shuts the computer OFF and gets up to say some GOODBYES.

Camera approches and pans up to a BEAUTIFUL WOMAN who looks a little annoyed to have been bothered.

   Yes?, she asks.

   Today is my last day.

   Do you work here?

MAN walks away and the camera shows the BEAUTIFUL WOMAN rolling her eyes and then -- incredulously!!! -- makes a kind of fake spitting motion but mistakenly (we imagine) some actual spittle comes out and flies on to the ground and it's pretty darn GROSS.

Camera cuts to a group of THREE GINORMOUS NERDS -- WE'RE TALKING UBER-GEEK-DWEEB-AND-SPAZZ KIND OF GUYS sitting around another CHEAP TABLE and they are arguing over which is the most powerful POKÉMON character. The MAN is awkwardly standing just outside of their little posse waiting for a break in the conversation presumably so he can say goodbye.

   Bianca Pokémon double-crossed Shauna Pokémon in scene 917 of the Famicom SE re-release and caused 10x damage on...

MAN cuts in

   Hey guys?

   Who do you like better? Bianca Pokémon or Shauna Pokémon?

   Umm... I guess Bianca?

   You're an idiot. We're glad you're leaving.

Camera tracks the MAN down the hallway to the KITCHEN. There is a SANTA CLAUS sitting at the BAR drinking a COCA COLA and smoking a MARLBORO CIGARETTE while talking on a knock-off SMARTPHONE. SANTA looks ANNOYED.

   Hey Santa?

   Hold on, Santa mumbles into the phone. What do you want?

   It's my last day. I'm just about to leave I guess. I wanted to say goodbye.

   Listen, Kid, Mrs. Claus found some texts that I sent to Twirley, and...

   Twirley?

   Ya, the elf, and, well, she's a little pissed and I've gotta start smoothing things over so I don't really have time for...

   Ok, no problem. See ya.

SANTA gives all his attention back to the phone.

   It was one Christmas Eve, Baby!

Camera cuts to the MAN in the elevator and zooms into him pressing 0. He stands back, crosses his arms, and the elevator doors close.

Fade to black.

---

It was something like that.