I would say that Man of Steel isn't as bad as Panic Room, but that would be a lie. Maybe it's not as bad as Mission to Mars but I think they're pretty close to each other. I'd even venture to believe that The Hangover Part III will turn out to be better than this monstrosity. Why oh why oh why did I waste those precious moments of my life? Of course I probably would never have independently chosen to go see the latest super hero movie reboot, but when things are suggested in a group there's peer pressure involved and off I went to see this humiliation to Hollywood, film, comics, and really all of art. Man of Steel is an abomination of a film. Rotten Tomatoes sensibly rates it as "rotten" but still it managed to receive a passing grade of 56% critic approval. This is likely because they seem to include any yahoo with the ability to get their viewpoint on the Internet a critic. The plot is entirely nonsensical and I would maybe accept this 2 1/2 hours of heinous staining of humankind's history as competent creators of art as a satire on Hollywood mega blockbusters but I don't think that's what they were going for. This movie has worse dialogue than The Da Vinci Code or even Speed ("There will come a time, boy, when you'll wish we never met ... Mr., I'm already there!"). Take this beauty from that catastrophe of a movie (if you can call it that) that I subjected myself to last night:
- [Lois Lane and Superman kiss]
- LL: "They say it's all downhill after the first kiss"
- SM: "I think that only applies if you're kissing a human"
Seriously. That happened in the movie. And then (when it really should have spared us and just ended) there was about another hour of things blowing up.
Besides the sheer awfulness of the movie, I also couldn't believe how stolen nearly everything in the movie was. The Superman learning to fly scene is exactly the same as the Ironman learning to fly in his suit scene. The alien ships shooting a beam straight down into the middle of Manhattan is exactly the one from Independence Day. The crazy alien/machine tentacles are basically shot-for-shot from The Matrix. And then pick just about any scene that was done really well in The Dark Knight or Batman Begins and make it really really really shitty and embarrassing to watch and replace Batman with Superman. Just ludicrous that this repulsive blemish of absurdity exists as a thing.
In conclusion, I rate it 2 stars out of 10.
Just kidding... minus one million!!!
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